Thursday, June 6, 2013
The 'Damn Near Perfect' Challenge
What's the Challenge?
Taking a cold hard look at where we fail others.
Who's Invited to Participate?
Anyone who desires a little less turbulence in their relationships and life in general.
What's the Point?
Because even those of us that are damn near perfect, fall short.
Because everyone else isn't always to blame for unhappiness in our lives.
Because your happiness and the happiness of those who love you are intertwined.
Here are some questions to kick start your search. Take it from there in your own self-evaluation by being aware of....
* where conflict in your life is strongest and
* in which situations you feel the weakest
1) This has to be the first questioned answered. Is abuse a factor in your life?
If you or someone else suspects this is the case, leave the situation immediately
and approach it from the outside with help.
For information on signs of abuse visit,
A Helpguide.org Resource on Domestic Violence
2) Do you expect change and growth from other people but not from yourself?
3) Can you really find nothing wrong with you? (You're not being honest with yourself if you can't.)
4) What are your favorite characteristics about yourself? Are these qualities responsible for bringing other people down or introducing unnecessary conflict?
5) Are the standards you hold against people impossible to meet?
6) Can you find happiness without anyone else's presence or help?
7) Can you find nothing you like about yourself?
8) Do you find joy in bringing joy to other people?
This is certainly not a comprehensive list of evaluating questions, nor is this professional advice. Simply put, I try here to help others gain control in areas of their lives they may not have thought needed some tweaking. Almost always, it's my life that sparks the idea for these challenges. Okay, it's always my life that sparks the ideas for these challenges, but we can only help ourselves so much. Introspective powers are limited and often professional counseling can better lead us to a less turbulent future of healthier relationships and positive attitudes.
Finding a counseling service in your area is as easy as a Google search for 'local counselors in 'insert your township here'.
The blogpost for June 2013, 'Damn Near Perfect' at Write For Life introduces why I created this challenge and how to dig a little deeper to orchestrate change.
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Another question to consider:
ReplyDelete* Are you a morning person, a night person, both or miserable 24/7?
This is important to recognize for when you pinpoint your 'socially poisonous' moments (when you conflict with EVERYONE despite their own temperaments) you can readjust your schedule therefore taking more control over when you encounter possible victims of your lesser pleasant moods.
-If you hate mornings make sure you give yourself extra time in the A.M. to claim your day for yourself (getting a chore done is a surprisingly satisfying activity to tackle first thing in the morning) I know, spending more time awake doesn't sound like a logical solution to people who hate mornings but usually, it's not the start of the day that really bothers us. Most of us don't feel in control of the time we are allotted. 24 hours often seems a few hours less than what we really need. But, until there are more hours in a day, we have to work with what we have and prioritizing, simplifying and claiming how we choose to spend our waking time is a valuable piece of the puzzle when addressing conflicts in relationships.
A few more for you:
ReplyDelete*Do you consider yourself strong and determined but are accused of being bossy and overbearing? At work, it may not matter what others think but in social situations or at home try stepping back and being patient with someone else's lead for a while. Your loved ones may feel that you see them as incapable of making decisions. And if they ARE incapable of decision making, be even more patient!
*Are your vocal chords actually capable of issuing forth humble words of encouragement such as 'I'm sorry, you were right' and 'Thanks, I needed that'?
It's amazing how quickly a situation, even one that seems doomed, can be diffused with a simple phrase of humility. And when you mean the words, too, they are powerfully healing. You were wrong. You needed help. Accept it, at the very least it's a connection to the rest of humanity on a level playing field of imperfection.